Today I am six weeks postpartum. Dique I am healed. Dique that’s it I can carry on with my life. Congratulations. Six weeks ago, I did not think I would be past the fog. Week one, the fog was thick as f^ck. It creeps up on you like a cocktail. It is seductive. For the third time, it felt like an old friend.

I hate every second of pumping. There is something so unnatural about the pulling. It is rough as f^ck. It hurts like a motherf^cker. I don’t care how many different styles or sizes are created it f^cking sucks. But I am so grateful breast pumps exist because my children don’t latch well from jump. Latching is a struggle too. But when they latch is so special. They love you every time. They rest at my chest and smile once they are done. It is worth the challenge.

Yes, it has already been 40 days and you are out of the fog. It is starting to get clear. You are getting clarity and almost have your footing. You have sort of gotten kinder with yourself, still struggling with grace but we're getting there. God is so funny, day 40 and it lands right on mother’s day. Your last mother’s day as a new mom.